Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Swine Flu Money

Not to be outdone by General Motors or AIG, Swine Flu has asked Congress for a bailout. Obama is asking Congress for $1.5 Billion to help combat the illness that has infected approximately 65 people in the United States. The number of people infected was 64, but in the past 24 hours that number has climbed to 65 sparking fear and panic across the country.

Let's also ignore the fact that nearly 36,000 people die in the United States every year from the regular flu. But 65 is worse than 36,000, so at least the White House has their priorities straight.

$1.5 billion. That's more than $23 million per person. Wow, the next time I get sick I hope Congress appropriates millions of dollars for me.

Friday, April 24, 2009

O'Malley's New Slave Law

Thanks to Blair Lee for bringing this to my attention. Starting in 2011 all companies that want to do business in the state of Maryland will be forced to comply with a new law that Martin O'Malley signed on April 14th.

The new law titled the Maryland Slaveholder Insurance Disclosure Law requires that insurance companies disclose any policies they or their predecessor companies issued to slave holders up through 1865. In addition, they will also need to disclose the names of the slaves.

I want to know what the purpose is of this law. According to the lead sponsor of the bill, Lisa Gladden, queen of tax payer waste, said the law will " Americans gain a deeper understanding of the evils of slavery and to find peace with the nation's checkered past" and "this is about becoming comfortable with our history. This is about healing."

Um...don't we have schools where we already teach about slavery? Isn't slavery already condemned in modern society? How will forcing insurance companies disclose this information help us heal and find peace with our checkered past? Lisa Gladden - you're nuts.

Here's what Delegate Lisa wants: (husband at breakfast table reading the Washington Post because the Baltimore Sun no longer exists) "Hey honey, check out this list of slaves that Met Life insured in Maryland back in 1745. Wow! I now have a deeper understanding of the evils of slavery. Boy, I sure feel a lot more comfortable about my past. Let's move on! Can you pass me another Eggo?"

I predict that in 2011 you will no longer be able to get insurance in the state of Maryland. How in the world are insurance companies going to comply with this law? Is there punishment for not being able to comply with the law? Gladden claims there will be no punishment for their disclosure, but does the law protect them from punishment or is that her word? What's to stop them for demanding reparations from these companies in the future for their disclosures?

I don't know about you, but I don't trust any word that a politician says. Take Kumar Barve, for example. He says favors tough drunk driving laws, yet his checkered drunk driving past says otherwise.

If this law stays, then I demand that Martin O'Malley sign a law apologizing for the persecution of Catholics in the state of Maryland in the 1600's through most of the 1700's. For those of you who don't know - Maryland passed a law in 1654 making it a crime to be a Catholic. In 1692, Maryland passed a law requiring Catholics to pay a tax to the Church of England. Additionally, Catholics were forbidden from holding services, creating schools, or participating in public office.

I understand that this isn't quite the same context as slavery, but my point is that putting ridiculous constraints on companies for a past in which the living had no part is unreasonable and unproductive. Stop wasting tax-payer money and increasing the cost of doing business in Maryland. We're going to get to the point where Maryland is the most politically correct state in the union that doesn't have any private sector jobs.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Attack the Pirates!

"Hold on now. I didn't say I authorized attacks on the Somali pirates. I said I authorize "a tax" on the Somali pirates."

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I'm So Dumb I Should Work on the Radio

I heard something like this on the radio this morning. "General Growth Properties was one of the largest owners of malls in the country. No longer. They have filed for bankruptcy."

I understand that news reporters have to report on an infinitesimal amount of information. They cannot be expected to know everything about all subjects. However, this is an easy one.

When a company files for bankruptcy, they are seeking protection from their creditors in an effort to restructure loans, close portions of their operations, and such. This is not the same thing as 'going out of business'. This drives me nuts and I hear it ALL the time. When they say things like this I can't help but think that reporters are really stupid.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Background information:
  • My wife graduated from the University of North Carolina.
  • North Carolina's major rival is Duke
  • North Carolina just won the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship
  • My 20 month old daughter is learning to talk.
My 7 year old son thought it would be funny to teach my 20 month old a new word. "Duke". Much to my wife's chagrin, my daughter is now walking all around the house saying, "Duke. Duke. Duke. Duke."

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

NCAA Championship

Someone please wake me up. I could have sworn that I fell asleep and when I woke up there were no teams from the Big East in the championship. What? You mean it's true?

If your sarcasm detectors haven't already fried, I cannot stand the Big East and all the hype that they get. "Oh, the Big East is the best conference this year." "The Big East has the teams to beat." "It's already a done deal. Either Villanova, Pittsburgh, or UConn will be the champion. No need to even play the game."

So who was in the championship? It was North Carolina from the ACC and Michigan State from the Big 10, which has 11 teams.

What's the deal with the Big East? I actually cannot fault them for the way they manage the conference. See, here's what they did - get a lot of teams in the conference, have the top teams play the bottom teams and next thing you know you have 10 teams with 20 wins. Genius if you ask me.

How many teams are in the Big East? It's difficult to determine. The last time that a statistician was hired to calculate the number of teams, they estimated 45. And of those 45 teams, 27 made the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. It goes without saying that bias and arrogant sports programs, such as ESPN and CBS Sports, favor the Big East.

Furthermore, the analysts criticized the ACC for being weak this year. I think the ACC is similar to the SEC (Southeast Conference). You pack the conference full of good teams and you end up with a tough schedule where the teams have to beat up on each other. If the Big East teams played in a REAL big conference, they'd get their donkey handed to them.

Moreover, prior to the championship game, I didn't hear any analyst, so called expert, predict that Carolina would win. The game was being played in Detroit, home of our government-run car manufacturer, GM, so it was basically a home game for Michigan State. And they were the Cinderella team, the underdog.

When the game was 22-7, I didn't hear too many of them saying that Michigan State was so great. At halftime when Carolina was leading by 21, it sure was quiet. And the best part was at the end of the game when the never-held-accountable analysts said, "I told you Carolina would win. They are the best team and we've been saying it all year." Did you notice how long their noses were growing the more they talked? You could smell it piling up under the broadcast booth from several hundred miles away.

I do not anticipate an apology from CBS for their blatant favoritism, nor for their ridiculous about-face at the end of the game. Instead, you will see all of them telling you how awesome they are for their coverage. Bunch of blow-holes if you ask me. Sort of like Martin O'Malley and the Maryland General Assembly.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

A Whale of a Technician

Per WBAL's website...I find it ironic that someone as obese as a whale is forced to work on whales. (Hey your stories before you post them!!!)

Whale Washes Ashore
Thursday, April 02, 2009WBAL Radio as reported by Scott Wykoff
For the first time in 2 decades, the carcass of a humpback whale has washed ashore on Assateague Island.
It was a female humpback whale.
The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service reports that another large humpback whale is stranded in another portion of the park.
A team of scientists from the Virginia Aquarium took samples and performed a necropsy on the dead whale that washed ashore on Assateague Island.
A technician with the aquarium in Virginia Beach likely weighed around 40 tons and was larger than a school bus.
For the last several weeks, there had been reports of a dead whale floating in the Atlantic off of Maryland.

April Fooled No One

Okay. I got it. My little April Fool's joke fooled no one. No - I am not re-registering as a Democrat nor dedicating my blog to liberal propaganda.

So, let's chalk this up to my readers being smarter than the average member of the Baltimore City Delegation in the Maryland General Assembly.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

New Changes for the Blog

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. You know the kind - checking myself out in the mirror, deep reflection, trying to figure out who I am and what my purpose in life is.

Then I started to think about the issues at hand in our country. Poverty, job losses, bankruptcies, foreclosures. These are the real problems of our country. And how am I trying to solve these? By bashing Democrats? Is this really productive?

So after some careful consideration, I've decided to makes ome major changes. My first step is to change my political affiliation from Republican to Democrat. Seriously. There are only a handful of Republican politicians in this state anyway. I think I would have more of an impact if I voted Democrat anyway. Democrats run this state anyway, so if I'm on their side there will be less impediment to getting things done their way.

Additionally, I have decided that starting next week I will dedicate my blog to the problems of our society. An no more bashing Democrats. In fact, I will point out how Democrats have actually made a difference in our society and how most Republicans are distracted from the true issues.

I will turn a blind eye to any shenanigans by the Democrats, because deep down I understand that what is important is their passion and their actions in the legislature, not their actions on the roads or in the bedroom.

I'm sure with this new vision, I will come to understand and appreciate the hard work that Martin O'Malley has done for our state. We ARE moving forward again. And we can probably thank him for his vision of the future for this change.

I look forward to this new challenge. I will certainly need to change my way of thinking, but I think I can do it and do it well. I will learn to make less use of logic and place a greater emphasis on philosophy. I will come to grips with the need to redistribute wealth and punish corporations. I am sure that with time I will come to accept that a society that the government heavily regulates and makes equal will be a more prosperous society.

Wish me luck with my new endeavor and I hope I don't lose you as a reader.

Saint Pelosi

On a Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D. C., House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's aide visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day's sermon, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.

The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi's views."

Pelosi's aide then said, "Look. I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint."

The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."

As Pelosi's aide promised, House Speaker Pelosi appeared for the Sunday sermon and seated herself prominently at the edge of the main aisle. And, during the sermon, as promised, the Cardinal pointed out that House Speaker Pelosi was present.

Then the Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation -- "While Speaker Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some, she is not my favorite person. Some of her views are contrary to those of the church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other views. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, condescending, a cheat, and a thief. Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using it to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington, and in California. She simply is not to be trusted. But when compared to Senators Ted Kennedy, Harry Reid, and John Kerry, House Speaker Pelosi is a saint."
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