Woes at the Maryland Zoo

The Maryland Zoo, often referred to by white suburbanites as the Zoo in the Hood, is in danger of losing is accreditation. What does this mean? This means that if the zoo loses its accreditation, the 10 animals that the zoo has will be removed and sent to other zoos.

The funny thing is that local politicians and zoo officials act surprised. Hello! This zoo is in one of the worst areas of the city, which can be misleading, because the entire city is the worst area of the city.

The zoo is less than a mile from Mondawmin Mall. Ever been to Mondawmin Mall? Me neither. There are no real stores there. Why? You will get robbed there. And the stores are getting robbed. I think that it's so bad that the robbers even get robbed. If you're lucky, you won't get killed. Why would you visit an area like this?

Anyway, in the zoo, which is comprised of 90 degree hills that were paved in the 1930's that circle around buildings that were built in the 1890's and last painted in the 1940's. The most exciting animals are the giraffes. The zoo hypes up the elephants, but they put you on a platform about 10 stories about the elephants, so you cannot really get a good look at them. "Oh, yeah, look at that elephant a quarter mile away!"

Want to eat at the zoo? Then sit down on one of the 5 picnic tables that they provide. Your choice of food is stale pizza and tasteless hamburgers.

An article in The Sun said that the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore attracts about 1500 people per day. The Denver Zoo, on the other hand, attracts about 13,000 people per day. In 2007, the Denver Zoo had 1.7 million visitors. The Maryland Zoo in the Hood of Crime-Laden Baltimore City attracted about 300,000.

Now the zoo has a contest to name the new baby elephant. I think it would be appropriate to name the elephant Denver, because odds are he will not grow up in Baltimore. His imminent departure will be another example of what is wrong with Baltimore.