Friday, September 28, 2007

Van Halen Returns!!!

Van Halen played it's first concert with David Lee Roth in more than 20 years last night down in Charlotte, NC (yes, that's Charlotte - comma - NC) They hate that!

The greatest rock band in the history of the world played some of their best rock songs. This is the song line-up that they played:

"You Really Got Me"
"I'm The One""
Running With The Devil"
"Romeo's Delight"
"Somebody Get Me A Doctor"
"Beautiful Girls"
"Dance The Night Away"
"Music Punk"
"Everybody Wants Some!!"
"So This Is Love?"
"Mean Street"
"Pretty Woman"
(Drum Solo)
"I'll Wait"
"And The Cradle Will Rock"
"Hot For Teacher"
"Little Dreamer"
"Little Guitars"
"Jamie's Crying"
"Ice Cream Man"
(Guitar Solo)
"Ain't Talking Bout Love"

Oh, how I wish I was there....

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Presidential Debate at Morgan State

Despite the fact that a Republican (Abraham Lincoln) freed African-Americans from slavery despite the hard-fought protests of Democrats, African-Americans hate Republicans. We're all a bunch of white racists. At least that's the perception.

This perception grew during the early and mid-1900's as Republicans changed their focus from freeing the slaves to separate but equal and other misguided ideas. The South grew more Republican and the "good-ole boy" white image is how the Republicans came to be known.

Many Republicans have fought this image for many years. Their argument is that the white rich Democrats in office offer hand-outs that temporarily help African-Americans, but these actions do not empower them to take control of their lives. Instead, Republicans fight for training and development and job creation as the best method for all Americans, including African-Americans, to get ahead in life. No one ever moved out of poverty because of a free loaf of bread and subsidized housing from City Hall.

I'm not implying that these services are not needed. Society will always include many poor people who are uneducated, or have been misguided in life. Safety nets are needed to help protect them and others in society. But by and large, most of the poor would be better helped by giving them jobs rather than a measly welfare check.

If the Republicans fought harder, they could better portray their image and spread their message. However, their current actions are not helping to change that negative image.

On Thursday September 27th, Morgan State University, a mostly-African-American university, will be hosting a Republican debate on race. Unfortunately for the Republicans, Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, Mitt Romney, and John McCain will not be there. These are the front-runners to the Presidential election. Sam Brownback, Duncan Hunter, Ron Paul, Alan Keyes, and Mike Huckabee will be there. These are the Republicans that no one knows and these are the Republicans that will not go far in the primary elections.

The candidates that have bowed out claim that they have schedule conflicts. We know this not to be true. The problem lies in the fact that African-Americans vote Democrat almost 11-1. The attitude is, "why go there when they're not going to vote for us anyway?" This is true, most won't vote for you anyway, but it certainly is not helping the image that Republicans don't care about African-Americans. In fact, it is solidifying that attitude. Newt Gingrich is furious with the Republicans and says that they are making a big mistake. I agree.

Another reason candidates may have chosen to bow out of this debate is that it is hosted by Tavis Smiley, a hard-left wing Liberal/Socialist. This moderator is not shy about his left-wing extremist ideas. In fact, he wrote a book titled "Hard Left: Straight Talk About the Wrongs of the Right". Seriously? How would the Democrats like a debate hosted by Bill O'Reilly? they wouldn't. So who's to think that it's okay for Smiley to host a debate? That would be as outrageous as other such left-wing extremists as Tim Russert, Keith Olbermann, or Matt Lauer hosting a debate. No one would take those debates seriously.

So what should the Republicans expect? Republicans should expect to be booed, heckled, and even assaulted while at this debate. This is common treatment towards Republicans at Morgan State. You can ask Michael Steele about this.

And the debate is in Baltimore, an already violent city. In fact, the candidates and media personnel shouldn't be surprised if one or two of them is shot with a chrome 45 in the parking lot while city residents are looking for loot. However, Republicans must do the tough things if they are ever going to change the attitude of the African-American voters. Skipping the debate sends the wrong message. If you're going to skip this debate, you should skip the election.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

O'Malley to the Rescue!

If you've been keeping up with the news, then you're quite familiar with O'Malley's daily tax proposal. These tax increases include the following:

1) Increase the sales tax by 20% - this is a regressive tax that will slam the poor and middle class hard. However, since O'Malley is so pretty, he knows that you'll still vote for him in the next election.

2) Increase the cigarette tax. As we know, the working poor live and breathe (literally) on their cigs, hon. Now, instead of choosing between eating lunch or buying a pack of cigs, the poor and unintelligent will get to choose between their evening 40 & Funions and their cigs. Unfortunately for O'Malley's rhetoric, most rich people are also smart and know that smoking is stupid - just like O'Malley.

Ironically, their are ads on the radio narrated by a really obnoxious mommy-liberal advocating for the increase in the cig tax because it will reduce smoking and generate more revenue for health care. How can smoking less generate more revenue when you're not buying as much? Oh, yeah. That dumb Law of Supply and Demand is a farce.

3) O'Malley wants to increase the tax on vehicle registration titles by 20%. Again, this is a regressive tax that will hit the poor and working middle class harder than the rich. Consider this - rich people are more likely to pay cash for their vehicles. Therefore, they will cover the 20% increase up front. However, the poor and hard working families of Maryland are more likely to finance the car, including the vehicle tax, thus subjecting the 20% increase to an even bigger increase once they factor in the interest.

4) We caught glimpses of O'Malley whining in some family's kitchen claiming that these "table talks" will help brainwash the voters and convince them that these taxes are a good thing.

Another tax introduced was a gas tax. Since gas isn't already expensive enough (and much higher in Maryland than in many other states), he thought it would be a great idea to charge more for the gas. And who uses more gas - the rich or the poor? Surprisingly, they use the same!!!

So who is more affected? The working poor families. Now families will struggle to decide if they should fill their car with gas or buy food, medicine, or diapers for their children. This is definitely a regressive tax. How are those rich people fairing so far? Not too bad!

5) Marty also wants to increase the income tax. This tax, he claims, will be progressive. Interesting choice of words. How can taking more money from people imply progress? Anyway, the rich have the ability to hire CPA's who can hide their income. Rich people can incorporate and have the company pay expenses for them. They don't have to take a salary and be subject to the income tax.

Furthermore, if you have a lot of money, that doesn't necessarily mean that you have high income. You can be living off of the dividends and account balances of your fortune. And with higher taxes, what's the incentive for investing their money? We all know that investing money helps to create jobs, but that's counter intuitive to O'Malley's new Socialist world order.

So in the end, hard working 2-income families are the ones that are going to pony-up paying for unnecessary services that help get politicians reelected.

6) The Slippery Leprechaun also wants to restructure the "antiquated" tax structure. Currently, only goods are taxed. He also wants to tap that treasure of services. This will help generated millions more in tax revenue that he can use to force more government programs down our throats or send to the Baltimore City School system so that they can lose it again. (please ignore the studies that show that miserable failing city schools receive more money per student than successful schools in the suburbs)

7) Companies are a pain in the butt in the state of Maryland and O'Malley will help change that. He has a plan to drive them to Delaware. He wants to increase the corporate tax from 7% to 8%, an increase of over 14% in that tax.

These evil companies are making too much money and the government wants its share of it. Disregarding all those millions of people that these companies have on the payrolls, it would be best if the state could get them to leave and we could transition these workers to government payrolls where they could keep a better eye on things.

We all know that the government is much more efficient in running services and companies. Just think about it. They could more easily calculate projected income taxes on their $45,000 calculators while sitting in their $75,000 chairs.

8) I heard that while he was sitting in the garage smoking dope with his naked guy friends, O'Malley came up with a great new idea - let's introduce slots in the state of Maryland!

O'Malley made this announcement the other day as one of his new plans. When WBAL's Scott Wychoff asked him why he opposed slots when he ran against Governor Bob Ehrlich, who was in favor of slots, O'Malley quipped, "That's political history. We're only interested in the future."

O'Malley reportedly then continued removing jars of KY jelly from the shelves of local stores.
One person even stated that he mumbled under his breath, "This is going to hurt the middle class so bad that it'll bring tears to their eyes and they won't be able to sit down for month!!! Moo-Ha-ha-ha!!!"

However, there is always a silver lining in every grey cloud. Unfortuantely for the people of Maryland, this silver lining is the toxic heavy metal called mercury. O'Malley states that he wants to reduce property taxes for the average families. His liberal math, though, is suspicious. The property tax will be reduced for 70% of the people, but it will be increased for the other 65%. This middle class is getting stiffed for this bill and you know it.

People who voted for O'Malley, you're getting what you deserve. Hold on tight to that bed post when you get your next tax statement.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Interactive Baltimore Crime Chart

For all you people who are fortunate enough to have balls big enough to live in the city, check out this fun and interactive chart that shows you where all of the murders have occurred in Baltimore City this year. You can count how many murders were in your neighborhood. Check out how many murders were in your friends' neighborhoods. You can even check out to see how many murders there have been at your local drug corner! This is fun and excitement for everyone. No batteries required!!!

Interactive Baltimore Crime Chart

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Baltimore Elects Sheila Dixon

The residents of Baltimore have once again proved that the dirt that they stand on is smarter than they are. On Tuesday, they overwhelmingly elected Sheila Dixon to continue as the Mayor of Baltimore.

By electing Mayor Dixon, they endorse the high crime in the city. Sheila's actions, if anything, have helped increase crime during her tenure in office. Baltimore leads large cities in crime and almost seems to be proud of this ranking. Outside of Super Bowl XXXV, Baltimore hasn't been number one outside of contracted syphilis & gonorrhea cases, prostate cancer, and erectile dysfunction. So it's only natural to cheer for your strength.

By electing Mayor Dixon, the people of Baltimore have excused her ethical violations. These include hiring her sister in City Hall for a no-show position. This includes providing no-bid contracts to her other sister's company.

By electing Mayor Dixon, residents endorse her plan to reduce crime and help our schools by "working together". Not sure what the hell that means. Is she saying that previously, she was working against the people of Baltimore? That would seem to be the case. Recall that the Baltimore City Board of Education misplaced $54 million. I told them to look in that envelope in the top left drawer, but they never listen to me.

To make matters worse, Sheila was charged by contender Keiffer Mitchell with election fraud when she visited several polling places perhaps to pump up votes - an election violation called electioneering. She did not deny the allegations. Nor did she deny the alligators.

Finally, in her acceptance speach, Sheila said, "I want to thank everyone who voted for me, regardless of which button you pushed." What do you make of that? WBAL radio played this over and over trying to determine what was said and what she meant. Sounds like Sheila being Sheila. As Forrest Gump said, "Stupid is as stupid does."

So where does this leave us? I think the election of Sheila Dixon will help turn this city around 360 degrees. And what Baltimore City school-educated person doesn't like the sound of that?!!!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Hill Billy Millionaire

Hillbilly Ellwood "Bunky" Bartlett proved once again why normal never win the lottery. Bunky, a Dundalk resident and self-proclaimed Wicca teacher and spiritual leader, will claim his share of the $350 million that he won in the Mega Millions lottery drawing.

Bunky will appear on the Today Show with Matt Lauer and explain that he still plans to shop at Wal-Mart and eat all his meals at McDonald's. There's no word if he will put new tires on his 1987 Buick Regal or buy a new washing machine to put on his porch. However, he said he has no plans to give money outside of his family, which was good news for relatives Bubba, Bobby Joe, Billy Ray, Clyde, Hoss, and Bill Clinton.

Bunky purchased his ticket at a liquor store (if you can believe that!) in White Marsh, Maryland (a town in which the media now calls Nottingham - probably because it's no longer white and there's no marsh, just a lot of shopping centers and apartments and townhouses).

Bunky's luck further solidifies my belief (though not my Wicken belief) that only rednecks who buy lottery tickets at ram-shackled liquor stores ever win.

Whoopi is Inidicative of Stupidity

Whoopi Goldberg proved on her first day of work at The View that she was the perfect replacement for the fat obnoxious Rosie O'Donnell. Whoopi went on the show defending the murder of animals conducted by NFL thug Michael Vick.

Goldberg's statements were chocked full of idiocy. She claimed that Vick's cultural upbringing justify his actions. You see, despite being from Virginia, Goldberg says that being from the deep South (Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, but not Virginia), that was how he was raised. Therefore, it must be okay. Sam Bowers was raised to hate black people and killed a NAACP leader Vernon Dahmer with a firebomb in 1966. Since it was part of up upbringing and Bowers was from the deep South, it must be okay, correct?

A person's upbringing does not excuse someone of their illegal actions. Beating, drowning, and hanging 8 dogs and running a dog-fighting operation is not okay because that's your culture.

Goldberg went on to say "There are certain things that are indicative to certain parts of our country." Indicative? Obviously Goldberg is trying to throw out some big fancy words to impress her viewers despite not having a clue as to how to properly use the word. Being fat like Rosie O'Donnell is indicative that you eat like a pig. However, being from the South is not indicative that you're an irresponsible thug who likes to kill animals.

Way to go Whoopi! I can't wait to follow your follies this year on your new job.
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