The strategy of the game is simple. All you have to do is beat a whitey. Now here's the trick. There are more points for different kinds of beatings.
First, if you beat a whitey on a Baltimore City street, you only get 5 points. However, if you put him in a coma, you get ten points.
The next way to get points is to beat a whitey on public transportation. If you beat up a white girl on an MTA bus, you get 25 points. If you beat up 2 white guys, you get 50 points!!!
Now, don't worry about getting in trouble! Baltimore City Mayor Sheila Dixon only gets outraged when the alleged crime is against African-Americans, such as the 2 incidents at the Baltimore City Fire Department this year, even though both crimes were proven to be constructed by African-Americans. Instead, Mayor Sheila Dixon will calmly sit on the sidelines and tell reporters that officials are looking into the matter.
And don't worry about the NAACP accusing you of committing hate crimes. They are only outraged when the crime is against African-Americans, such as the 2 incidents at the Baltimore City Fire Department this year, even though both crimes were proven to be constructed by African-Americans. NAACP president, Doc Cheetham will stand firmly silent against other racially-motivated hate crimes.
And finally, don't worry about the MTA getting you in trouble, like the last incident where a bus full of young kids beat the crap out of 2 guys, they will look the other way while simultaneously informing the press that, "we are investigating the matter".
As you can see, you are free to commit crime in Baltimore, especially against white people! Now go out there and get your points! First one to 100 points wins!!!
(This blog does not endorse the game show that has just been presented.)
1 comment:
Wow - it makes me glad I'm not white! :) Although I'm close enough, I guess.
Perhaps I'll have to shield The Mr from hateful punches with my magical minority cape.
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